Death, and Other Equally Cheery Subjects…
We had a death in the family this past weekend.
The event of its coming was not unforeseen, and the family member was ready to go, but that does not mean it was any less painful or difficult.
As I stood in the hospital room, looking down at the beloved family member, my only thought was how organic and natural the experience was. This was death, a normal part of the human existence, something I had never been privy too in the past. The experience was neither unnatural nor awkward, exactly the opposite actually, something I was not expecting. My preconceived notions of death were skewed by childhood fears and notions I had never corrected after becoming an adult, but once I recognized that fact, I was able to move past those fears and embrace the experience.
We spent hours talking and reminiscing about years gone by, and the wonderful memories we had of our amazing grandmother. One by one, each grandchild was able to talk to her, either by phone or in person, and convey their love and admiration for her, and all that she meant to us during her life. To die, surrounded by friends and family, what more could a person ask?
The story ends on a bittersweet note though. We do not know if my grandmother had a relationship with Christ. She was a good person, she even went to church most Sundays, but we still don’t know for sure. So as my unsaved family were speaking to each other about how “she is in a better place” and “we will see her again” all I could do is watch with intense sorrow, knowing that if they continue their present course they have no assurance of seeing any of their family again.
Sometimes I get so angry with my unsaved extended family members. When facing the death of a loved one, it’s just fine to become ultra spiritual and religious, but any other time it’s considered poor taste and too “personal.” So while they are making themselves feel better about death by saying things like “she was such a good person, I know she is in heaven right now looking down on us” we who know the truth bit our tongues. And so we sit there, quelling the urge to scream in agony at their arrogance and pride, the consequences of which are eternal death, pain, and suffering, and as we sit there, we try to think of some way to present the gospel in a way that will break through their stony hearts and have an effect. I love my extended family, but there are times when I struggle with feelings of anger towards them because of their self perpetuated ignorance of the truth.
My one consolation is that God is the only one who can change the heart, so the responsibility does not fall on me for a change to take place, but on Him.
Hmm...something to think on.
The event of its coming was not unforeseen, and the family member was ready to go, but that does not mean it was any less painful or difficult.
As I stood in the hospital room, looking down at the beloved family member, my only thought was how organic and natural the experience was. This was death, a normal part of the human existence, something I had never been privy too in the past. The experience was neither unnatural nor awkward, exactly the opposite actually, something I was not expecting. My preconceived notions of death were skewed by childhood fears and notions I had never corrected after becoming an adult, but once I recognized that fact, I was able to move past those fears and embrace the experience.
We spent hours talking and reminiscing about years gone by, and the wonderful memories we had of our amazing grandmother. One by one, each grandchild was able to talk to her, either by phone or in person, and convey their love and admiration for her, and all that she meant to us during her life. To die, surrounded by friends and family, what more could a person ask?
The story ends on a bittersweet note though. We do not know if my grandmother had a relationship with Christ. She was a good person, she even went to church most Sundays, but we still don’t know for sure. So as my unsaved family were speaking to each other about how “she is in a better place” and “we will see her again” all I could do is watch with intense sorrow, knowing that if they continue their present course they have no assurance of seeing any of their family again.
Sometimes I get so angry with my unsaved extended family members. When facing the death of a loved one, it’s just fine to become ultra spiritual and religious, but any other time it’s considered poor taste and too “personal.” So while they are making themselves feel better about death by saying things like “she was such a good person, I know she is in heaven right now looking down on us” we who know the truth bit our tongues. And so we sit there, quelling the urge to scream in agony at their arrogance and pride, the consequences of which are eternal death, pain, and suffering, and as we sit there, we try to think of some way to present the gospel in a way that will break through their stony hearts and have an effect. I love my extended family, but there are times when I struggle with feelings of anger towards them because of their self perpetuated ignorance of the truth.
My one consolation is that God is the only one who can change the heart, so the responsibility does not fall on me for a change to take place, but on Him.
Hmm...something to think on.
posted by fearbaby at 2:38 PM
3 Comments:
This is ironic, (not in the funny way but just the strange coincidence way) my great grandmother also past away this weekend. It was a similar situation in that it wasn't entirely unexpexted and I was glad that it didn't seem to be a painful death just a slow and quite slipping away of life. I do believe that my mom-mom was a born again Christian and it was a blessing to have mostly Christian family to share the loss with.
My one suggestion for you is to try and avoid anger towards your families ignorance and rather love them as Christ would, as hard as this may seem.
My condolences to both of you, Andrew and Tim.
I believe I met you once last summer at VOICE while visiting Zach on baseball day... I just wanted to say I appreciated this post as it also closely resembles the situation when my grandpa died. One thing I heard once was, we may not be the best people to directly, verbally witness to our relatives because of the very strong emotions we have as a result of being close to them, of course being sensitive to the Holy Spirit is the best course which is why I appreciated the last paragraph. Anyway I said a little prayer for your relatives I hope it turns out well for you. Oh and by the way I got here by seeing your Xanga screen name, it's a good thing I'm not a cat I guess
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